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Illumination

Updated: Apr 3


The transition phase of reinduction into the world I left is a lot of things. I feel like this past week of being stateside has been a bit of a blur. Truth be told, and many have witnessed this, I've been in and out of consciousness and zombie status. Do the math with me: leave Bangkok midnight on Wednesday, travel for 30 hours, arrive in Denver Thursday at 3:45pm. Yeah, hurts a bit.


I got used to, and this was literally a matter of acceptance or insanity, the constant revving of moto-bikes, the 7am sound check of the karaoke bar spitting distance from my window, lifting the bathroom sink handle "just so" to stop it from dripping and choosing an outfit from a suitcase size amount of clothes everyday.


The cat brawls in the alley every night, street food of any kind available at any time, the general chaos and dance of everyday traffic. I heard it said that in Cambodia everyone on the road wants everyone to win. Love that and also, SO true. There may be order here on the roadway but yet I never once witnessed anyone raging while driving in Cambodia. Just an observation.


I've been really confronted, since being home, with the amount of stuff I own. I have never given myself the opportunity to live with such minimal possessions as I have on this trip. And honestly, while I was abroad, I was wishing that I had packed less. I can see the draw to why people choose to live simply. Bringing items into our lives, yes, takes up real estate in our homes, but it also then becomes another thing vying for our attention. Do we own the possessions we have or do they own us? Just going deep with ya for a minute.


Another byproduct of my travels was the reality that if something is calling you, go. Living in another country, sure, there were nuances and logistics to be considered, but it's actually not as hard as my mind made it out to be. If I want to live somewhere, do a thing, start a business, the biggest limitation to myself is myself. How often my mind creates a story of how stressful and impossible and out of reach the thing is. I spent 20 plus years "gearing" up for this trip. I have no guilt of shame over this, but an acute awareness that the "thing" is only as intangible as I make it out to be.


This trip for me is only the beginning of many more, literally and figuratively. I feel a spark in me that has been dormant for sometime, now taking up space. This spark is possibility, dreams, creativity, courage, pursuit of the depths of me, adventure. I'm sure this spark will flicker like all do, but I am now very aware of it's presence and what it has and will continue to illuminate.


Friends. If I may... Go. Do. The. Thing.


Take that first step. Write the list. Buy the ticket. Have the conversation. Sell the thing taking up real estate. And, if you need someone by your side to encourage and spur you forth, I'd be honored. May you be encompassed by the illumination of that spark that, yes, lives within you.










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